Last night was full of insults and even more arguing. He assumed that I was with someone else, doing things that couples do, so I just let him think that. In fact I was at a country club, line dancing with a female friend of mine. I wasn’t even talking to anyone of the male persuasion that I’m remotely interested in. I took my word beating and laughed it off, most of it anyway. A lot of the things he says are harsh, make me cry, hurt my feelings. I thankfully can recover pretty quickly from those stings and dry my eyes and move on. I know it doesn’t matter anymore what he thinks of me. As long as I can just remember that these things go with breaking up when he is involved. I have thought long and hard about everything. I don’t regret the 2 and a half years we were together. I learned a lot about myself and I felt really deeply for someone else. It wasn’t always perfect, but he was there when I needed him and hopefully I gave him a little of whatever it was that he needed, if he needed anything at all. I’m sure he’d say that he didn’t need anything from me. I was just good to have around and to be a friend to him. I woke up to a message left by Dalton that was sweet and made me smile. It’s usually like that in the beginning, when everything is new and exciting and you don’t yet know the quirks they might have that drive you insane. I’m in between feeling elated over the new prospect and down over things that have been said between my ex and me. But, life goes on as they say. I can’t keep looking back wishing we’d have handled it better. I just have to push forward and embrace the brighter days ahead. My date with Dalton has become a casualty of rl interference. We now have to move our alone time to Wednesday in the evening. I’m still looking forward to it, also have a little bit of nervousness mixed in with the excitement. I’m not sure how it will go. Up til now we’ve only had “friendly” conversations. He does let me know in no uncertain terms that he’s developing feelings for me. Mine are working a lot more slowly than his, I guess because of the situation I’m in atm. He’s helping me to be happier, though, so I take that as a good thing. It’ll be fun to figure out if he’s the “daddy type” or not. I’m almost positive he doesn’t know anything about that lifestyle but we’ll figure out if he’s interested when we get some time to talk. The last few times we’ve hung out has been with a large group of friends. I really enjoy that, and I like that he’s social. He doesn’t say, these are your friends so I’m not going to hang out with them. I will only hang out with people that we meet together. That was always, I believed, one of the most ignorant things my ex ever said. If we were online together, we were usually alone. We would stand on our land and just talk. Yeah that probably should have been enough for me. I guess what he never understood was that I was so proud to be with him that I wanted other people to see us together, and to meet him and know how great he was the way that I did. I would see other couples out together, also in a group of friends, and I would be jealous. Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have been. I guess you just always want what you don’t have. I had everything else, almost. Ohhh also, I’ve found a vampire clan that I’m getting involved with. My friend, Riot, is now my liege. He brought me into this large vampire family that’s growing everyday and that’s another thing that I’m excited about. We sit at the castle and talk, I fall asleep, he falls asleep on voice. Last night he fell asleep and snored for all of us. It was a good time. I’ll write more on the clan later. I’m pretty sure it will turn out to be very interesting.
♥ Princess ♥